{"id":527,"date":"2015-07-28T19:06:21","date_gmt":"2015-07-28T23:06:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/?p=527"},"modified":"2015-07-28T19:06:21","modified_gmt":"2015-07-28T23:06:21","slug":"talking-to-girls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/2015\/07\/talking-to-girls\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking to Girls"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI would like to punch that person in the throat for being so stupid!\u201d <\/font><\/p>\n

This girl\u2019s comment was the first thing that came to mind after reading an essay by <\/font>Lisa Bloom<\/font><\/a> written in 2011. It brought up a lot of other things as well: Maurice Chevalier singing \u201cThank Heaven for Little Girls,\u201d a student\u2019s sliced up arms, as a teacher being a mandated reporter. How honest do you be?<\/font><\/p>\n

Bluntness is always a choice. One woman\u2019s truth is another man\u2019s opinion. <\/font><\/p>\n

My first day teaching in a US school, I was 45 years old, proctoring study hall. A girl, a senior, approached.<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cIs it always going to be like this?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cLike what?\u201d thinking Really, you are asking me this? Someone you don\u2019t even know? A stranger?<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cStress, tests, failing. Friends stabbing you in the back.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cAhhh. That.\u201d A pause. A moment to consider. But comforting has never been a really easy style. \u201cYes, it will be.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cOh. Forever?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cIt will always be different. You\u2019ll get used to the testing. You\u2019ll have performance reviews at work. That\u2019s a kind of test. You\u2019ll get to be the judgy one yourself.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cI will?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019ll get to choose where you work, and who with. You can always walk away from those friends who are just mean.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

It helped. It didn\u2019t always have to be grim.<\/font><\/p>\n

As much as bluntness, whacky humor is important. I howled at the girl who created a possessed green PostIt note that plagued the mop-up guy at the Seven Eleven.<\/font><\/p>\n

Being a fashionista isn\u2019t always bad. Amidst all the Einsteins, Gandhis, and Hillary Clintons chosen as the most wished for dinner partners, there sat Coco Channel. She would never have crossed my horizon, but I knew she was a perfect fit.<\/font><\/p>\n

Open research papers always got the share of instant make overs, chocolate delivery systems, and the like. But it also brought out questions like:<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I really wanted to own a monkey in Maine, what would I have to do and how could I take care of it?\u201d (It turns out that moving away is the only choice for monkey owners).<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I wanted to raise a family here, what things would have to change for me to feel safe?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I accurately measure the oil in my engine and not burn it out again?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is a decent water delivery system for a multi-horse trailer, so I don\u2019t have to lug buckets to fill it up?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Girls need honesty and they need space to ask questions. Most of all they need to learn that the right sort of competition is against themselves, tweaking their own self-image until they can become the person they always knew they were.<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI would like to punch that person in the throat for being so stupid!\u201d This girl\u2019s comment was the first thing that came to mind after reading an essay by Lisa Bloom written in 2011. It brought up a lot … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Gnw9-8v","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=527"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":528,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527\/revisions\/528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/beeberrywoods.com\/FiberEtc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}